🛍️
Wear Your Exhaustion Proudly
T-shirts, mugs, onesies, and bumper stickers for parents who've given up pretending they have it together.
🚧 Store opening soon — sign up below to get notified!
👕 T-Shirts
👕
Coming Soon
"Why Do I Have Kids?"
The classic. Enough said.
$28
👕
Coming Soon
"I Used to Be Cool"
A memoir in cotton form.
$28
👕
Coming Soon
"Surviving on Coffee and Sarcasm Since 2018"
Adjust year to match your oldest.
$28
👕
Coming Soon
"This Meeting Could Have Been a Nap"
For the WFH parent who does neither.
$28
☕ Mugs
☕
Coming Soon
"World's Most Exhausted Parent"
Finally, an honest mug.
$16
☕
Coming Soon
"Don't Talk to Me Until This Is Empty"
Oversized. Because you need it.
$18
☕
Coming Soon
"Why Do I Have Kids?"
The mug edition. Pairs with regret.
$16
👶 Baby Onesies
👶
Coming Soon
"Sorry About My Parents"
An apology tour, in onesie form.
$22
👶
Coming Soon
"I'm the Reason They Look Like That"
Brutally honest baby fashion.
$22
🏷️ Stickers & Magnets
🏷️
Coming Soon
"Honk If a Kid Is Screaming in Your Car Too"
Bumper sticker solidarity.
$5
🏷️
Coming Soon
Parenting Survival Kit Sticker Pack
6 stickers for every mood. Mostly tired.
$8
🎒 Other Essentials
🎒
Coming Soon
"Hauling Snacks and Emotional Baggage"
Tote bag. Literally and figuratively.
$24
🎒
Coming Soon
"Why Do I Have Kids?" Wine Glass
Stemless. Because you'll knock it over.
$18
📬
Want to See These Come to Life?
Sign up and we'll let you know when the store opens. First dibs, exclusive drops, and zero spam. Pinky promise.
No spam. Just merch drops and dad jokes. Promise.